My Adoption Journey

Unfortunately, things did not go my way in Ethiopia today.  All the paperwork for my case was in order, but the birth family member (who relinquished my daughter) did not show up to testify in court, which is now required as part of the process.  I am disappointed, but I have seen this happen with other families several times before, and things do eventually work out.  In fact, it has never NOT worked out in cases like this.  AWAA has and will continue to work very hard to get my case passed in court, and I am very grateful for that. 

 

I have been assigned a new court date of November 24th.  I am disappointed that it is not sooner, but this is where I have to live out my faith.  I believe God will bring me and my daughter together; I believe that his timing is perfect; and I believe he is not one bit surprised by today's news.  Another family who passed court yesterday and will be traveling in November has graciously offered to take a care package to my daughter for me when they go.  I am grateful that my daughter is in the care of people who love her very much and are taking such good care of her, and that there are other families who are willing to love on her for me until I can get there myself. My daughter is happy and healthy, and has a smile that can light up an entire room! 

 

I am constantly reminded...the only thing about international adoption that is predictable is that it is unpredictable! 

 

 

Ten days until court!  I can hardly believe it...after all this time, ten days from now I could receive legal custody of my baby girl.  I cannot wait for everyone to see how beautiful she is.  Since July 22nd she has been the light of my life.  I stare at her pictures in amazement...this is my daughter! 

 

There is a possibility that I will not pass court on the 8th.  There is paperwork submitted to the judge on my behalf, and these judges can be real sticklers!  If one little thing is missing or out of order, it could result in a second court date.  But, it is all for the best.  I want the judge to be 100% certain that custody of this baby girl is being given to me for all the right reasons.  As much as my heart longs to hold her in my arms, I will go through whatever legal process is necessary--however long it takes. 

 

My tentative travel dates are October 24th - 30th.  Depending on which airline I end up taking, I could be leaving on the 23rd.  As I'm planning out projects and things to get done before I travel, I realize I only have 3 weekends left!!  Four weeks from today I could be holding my baby in my arms!  That really takes my breath away.

Even though I'm in a bit of a holding pattern until my court date, October 8th, in Ethiopia, there are still things to do and things to look forward to.

 

On August 11th, another AWAA family from the Twin Cities was in Ethiopia picking up their little girl, and I was able to send a care package and have them take pictures of my daughter.  It was so amazing seeing my friend holding my daughter in her arms!  She reported my baby girl is healthy, happy and very smiley.  Oh, that does a momma's heart good :)

 

Each month after our referral, and until we go to Ethiopia to pick up our child, we get an update from AWAA.  They send a couple new pictures and updates on height, weight and general health.  We are also able to ask five questions of the nannies caring for our child.  I should get my first update towards the end of August. 

 

Another single mom adopting through AWAA, who I've been in touch with since we were both in the El Salvador program (we both switched to the Ethiopia Program at the same time) will be leaving for Ethiopia the end of next week to get her baby girl.  She will also be taking a care package for my daughter and will get to hold her and take more pictures for me.  Oh, I can't wait to get her personal report of my little babe!

 

I have to update my home study.  This means another round of paperwork, a new set of fingerprints for the State of MN, and one home visit from AWAA's social worker. Our visit is scheduled for September 14th, so I have to go in and get printed before then.  "Book me, Danno!"  The home study reports are only good for 12 months, and it must be active when I travel to Ethiopia.

 

There will be another travel group of AWAA families going to Ethiopia September 12th - 18th.  I am allowed to send a photo release form with one family per travel group, so yes, I have someone in that group set up to take MORE pictures of my daughter!  I sit here some days with the reality that I have a daughter--I am a MOM!--but I won't be able to see her in person for another couple months.  So the pictures and updates from traveling families are of great comfort and reassurance to me. She feels so far away, and this helps bring her closer to home :)

 

At the end of September I will get another monthly update from AWAA.  And then...

 

Court on October 8th!  I will not be present for this court date.  We send a Power of Attorney and a representative from AWAA goes on our behalf. Since Ethiopia is about 9 hours ahead of us, my court proceedings will happen during the night while I am sleeping, and AWAA will call me the morning of the 8th with the results.  If I pass, I will get ready to travel.  If I do not pass, which is the case 30-40% of the time, I will hopefully be assigned a new court date shortly thereafter and the AWAA staff will work to get the judge what he/she needs in order for me to be granted legal custoday.

On Wednesday, July 22, 2009 I woke up thinking it would just another day in the wait.  We were having a summer picnic at work, so that would be something fun to look forward to.  I had made a rhubard cake the night before and needed to stop at the grocery store to pick up the whipped cream.  Work moved along as usual that morning. I had a meeting with 5 or 6 of my coworkers at 9:00.  As usual, I kept my cell phone in my pocket, which also had my home phone number forwarded to it.  When it rang, everyone stopped talking and looked expectantly at me...was this the call?  The caller ID registered an 877 area code.  Nope--just a marketing call.  After the meeting, my coworker and I went to the gym for a workout.  After all, it was picnic day and I was ready to eat a lot of great summer food!  After the gym it was back to work. Around 11:45 I heard people start preparing for the picnic so I headed to the kitchen area to help out.  I was soooo hungry looking at all that wonderful food, especially after working out an hour before. 

 

At 11:50, I heard my phone ring again. I pulled it out of my pocket, almost annoyed, thinking it was another marketing call. And then I saw the 703 area code and my heart leapt into my throat..."Hello, this is Sue." I answered.  The sweet voice on the other end said, "Hello Sue, this is Terra!"  I think I said something rude like "Just a minute!", and I clutched the phone to my chest and screamed to my coworkers standing in the kitchen, "This is my call!!!!" I ran back to my office.  One person said I jumped about a foot off the ground.  I closed my office door and then had a moment of panic--what if Terra was calling for some other reason??  So I said, "Terra, this is my call isn't it?"  She laughed and said yes, it was.  You see, getting that magical referral call puts you in a completely different place, where all logical reasoning flies out the window.   I immediately started crying and told her I was going to try not to cry through the entire phone call.  I don't remember her exact words after this point, but I did get "2 month-old baby girl," "absolutely beautiful," "healthy," and "e-mailing you pictures and forms to your home e-mail address."  My words were incoherent at that point.  Weeks before, I had created a list of question to ask Terra when I did get the call.  The list was somewhere near my phone and it never crossed my mind to look for it while she was on the phone with me.  We hung up and I tried to type in my home e-mail address to access that very precious e-mail that contained my daughter's face...my hands were shaking so bad I could barely type.  Ah, finally...there it was.  There were about 8 attachments and I pulled up two forms before I had the presence of mind to pick out only the JPEG files.  And there she was...my daughter's face staring back at me.  She was grinning from ear-to-ear.  I just melted.  Thank you, God, thank you, God, thank you, God.  She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. 

 

I heard tapping at my door and realized there was a group of people wanting to hear the results of my commotion.  The group filed in and I have never felt more proud in my life than that moment.  I presented my daughter to them--my daughter!!  I started calling my family and was only able to reach my sister.  I remembered that there was a picnic going on and I had been very hungry just moments before the call.  I went out and filled a plate with food...and I couldn't eat!  After a few minutes, I excused myself, saying I had to keep trying my parents.  I didn't eat again until 7:30 that night.  I did reach everyone in my family, and some close friends.  Nothing else mattered that day. I was flying high--Cloud 9 and then some!!  My world has changed--I have a daughter, and she is a precious gift from God.  I believe she was chosen especially for me, and I accept that tremendous responsibility with humility and honor. 

 

I cannot post her pictures or other identifiable information until after I pass court.  I have no idea when that will be, but I will hopefully receive notification of my court date in Ethiopia in the next 2-4 weeks.  I will not be present for that court date, but if I pass, I will travel about 2-3 weeks after that.  I will travel to Ethiopia to get my daughter.  I am a mom at last :)

This past Thursday morning at work I noticed an email come through from Terra Baily, my Family Coordinator at AWAA.  And then half a second later, I realized the subject line read "On Deck."  I'm on deck.  "America World anticipates that families with a DTE date on or before 10/3/08 (that's me!!) could receive a referral within the next one to two months."  That means it WILL be sooner rather than later.  AWAA is officially telling me in this very informative email that Baby Prause is in the works.  Soon, I will be matched with a baby girl and she will be moved from one of the orphanages to AWAA's Transition Home in Addis Ababa.  And I will get THE CALL..."Susan, this is your referral call!  You have a beautiful baby girl!" 

 

When I began this adoption process nearly three years ago, I had a very clear picture in my mind of becoming a mother through adoption. However, because we live in this world, and because international adoption is extremely unpredictable (yes, yes, I was warned), that picture of motherhood became rather blurry.  Where exactly would my child come from?  Would it be a boy or a girl?  Would there actually be a child, or was I on the completely wrong track for God's plan for my life? I repeatedly asked God for a sign that I was on the right path.  Should I pursue El Salvador? How long should I wait for the El Salvador program to produce referrals? Should I switch to the Ethiopia program? Should I take another look at domestic adoption? Sometimes God speaks in a very soft voice and I needed him to shout at me through a megaphone.

 

There are several AWAA families that had switched, like me, from the El Salvador program to the Ethiopia program. I had heard from several of them that they had received their dossiers back from El Salvador after making the switch.  I had never received mine.  It was obviously lost somewhere in El Salvador, I thought.  It probably never made it through the translation process and I was never in line for a child from El Salvador. I never received confirmation that my dossier was actually in El Salvador. What if it was stolen, or thown away?  This past Thursday, as I arrived home from work, still on a high from receiving my On Deck email, I noticed a package inside the front door of our building. It was for me, from AWAA.  It was my dossier from El Salvador. It was in a red folder with big bold letters on the front that said "FAMILIA PRAUSE."  It was very thick, as all the documents I had sent were translated into Spanish.  I brought it inside, and sat at the kitchen table with the old dossier in one hand and my On Deck email in the other, and I felt a sense of peace I haven't felt in a very long while.  I learned a great deal by going through the El Salvador experience, but didn't recognize at the time that it was a stepping stone, leading me to my daughter from Ethiopia. When I was making the choice to pursue the El Salvador program, I wasn't ready to choose Ethiopia, even though I was intrigued. I would have loved a child from El Salvador, but it wasn't meant to be. But God knew that going through that experience would prepare my heart, and the hearts of my family, for this very special little girl from Ethiopia. I didn't need God to use the megaphone; He just needed time to work in me. Sitting there at the kitchen table Thursday night, I heard Him, and I was able to look back on these past three years in a very different light. I started feeling that same excitement I felt when I first began this process...I'm going to be a mom!